The Lord is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; and saves such as be of a contrite (or remorseful) spirit. Psalm 34:18
Hurricane Michael came right over our town of Manning on September 13, 2018. We had not evacuated with our son due to the eight hour drive it would take.
I soon learned that another storm had hit our family on that same September day when my nephew left me this message, "Aunt Judy would you please call me"?
So, I called him and I heard him sobbing on the other end of the phone as he stated, "Dad is gone"! It didn't register and I asked him, "Where did he go" knowing he had just come back from camping over the Labor Day weekend.
Then, very softly, my nephew told me that my younger brother, his dad had passed away. All I can remember is praying and asking God to render peace to my nephew and then I told him I would try to help reach other family members.
However, I couldn't breath much less talk, It felt as if my heart was breaking into a million pieces. Darkness fell over me like a blanket, only this covering was foreboding and cold, there was no warmth or comfort to be found in it.
Tears began to stream down my face as I tried to focus, but my mind refused to register what I had just heard. I was able to call one cousin and asked her to inform the rest of the family and I would try to reach our immediate family.
From that moment forward, my heart refused to believe what my mind knew and was trying to process. The loss of my brother on September 13, 2018, brought me to a place where I have never been.
Every day I seem to wrestle with so many questions and I find myself asking God to give me some sort of understanding! Crying seems to speak what my mouth can't explain and how broken my heart really is!
Instinctively I knew I would never be the same, my mind seems to frantically search for answers that would make some sort of sense out of what I had learned. Still, my heart refuses to believe what my mind knows is true.
It's been a little over three months, and I still grapple with my brother's death, trying to release myself from the agony of it all. And, my heart refuses to believe what my mind knows is true.
I smile on the outside, but I am crying inside...
I think constantly, but I can't clarify my thoughts...
I hurt, but I don't care to explain over and over again...
I'm lost in some sort of maze, trapped with no way out...
I hope, but discouragement leaks within me...
I pray, but God seems distant and so far away...
My heart is not only broken it is also tired, my mind seems to be in a deep fog and won't accept what I know to be true.
Thankfully, my Lord is near and neither distance or time keeps him away! He has never forsaken me and I trust Him to bring me through this, simply because He loves me, I love Him and my faith is unwavering!
Hurricane Michael came right over our town of Manning on September 13, 2018. We had not evacuated with our son due to the eight hour drive it would take.
I soon learned that another storm had hit our family on that same September day when my nephew left me this message, "Aunt Judy would you please call me"?
So, I called him and I heard him sobbing on the other end of the phone as he stated, "Dad is gone"! It didn't register and I asked him, "Where did he go" knowing he had just come back from camping over the Labor Day weekend.
Then, very softly, my nephew told me that my younger brother, his dad had passed away. All I can remember is praying and asking God to render peace to my nephew and then I told him I would try to help reach other family members.
However, I couldn't breath much less talk, It felt as if my heart was breaking into a million pieces. Darkness fell over me like a blanket, only this covering was foreboding and cold, there was no warmth or comfort to be found in it.
Tears began to stream down my face as I tried to focus, but my mind refused to register what I had just heard. I was able to call one cousin and asked her to inform the rest of the family and I would try to reach our immediate family.
From that moment forward, my heart refused to believe what my mind knew and was trying to process. The loss of my brother on September 13, 2018, brought me to a place where I have never been.
Every day I seem to wrestle with so many questions and I find myself asking God to give me some sort of understanding! Crying seems to speak what my mouth can't explain and how broken my heart really is!
Instinctively I knew I would never be the same, my mind seems to frantically search for answers that would make some sort of sense out of what I had learned. Still, my heart refuses to believe what my mind knows is true.
It's been a little over three months, and I still grapple with my brother's death, trying to release myself from the agony of it all. And, my heart refuses to believe what my mind knows is true.
I smile on the outside, but I am crying inside...
I think constantly, but I can't clarify my thoughts...
I hurt, but I don't care to explain over and over again...
I'm lost in some sort of maze, trapped with no way out...
I hope, but discouragement leaks within me...
I pray, but God seems distant and so far away...
My heart is not only broken it is also tired, my mind seems to be in a deep fog and won't accept what I know to be true.
Thankfully, my Lord is near and neither distance or time keeps him away! He has never forsaken me and I trust Him to bring me through this, simply because He loves me, I love Him and my faith is unwavering!
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