Sue's husband was ruggedly handsome and the memories of their whirlwind romance would often pop into her mind! Oh, how she longed to feel the excitement, the flirtatiousness and passion that once overflowed in their relationship.
Kevin was a good husband and father, it was his work that kept him so busy and often away from home that bothered Sue. Kevin was never late for work... and he never managed to come home early, and he would have to be half dead or in the hospital if he were to miss a day.
THE 50TH WEDDING ANNIVERSARY PARTY
Sue was just hoping that today, Kevin would just be on time for the party. It was her parents 50th Wedding Anniversary, there was going to be an amazing party and weekend was bringing all the together for the big event.
As she was making up the beds for her sister's family, Sue just hoped and prayed that Kevin would get home on time so they would not be late to the evening's festivities. She had all the her kids clothes laid out and had purchased a brand new dress for the occasion.
It was only noon when she heard the front door open, uneasy she instinctively ran downstairs to see who it was.
"Kevin, you're home! Oh, I was so worried you would have to work late again tonight." Kevin asked her if they could sit down and talk, his first question left her speechless.
"Are you having an affair?" he asked. She looked up at him answering, "Why in the world would you ask that question?"
Kevin's head dropped a bit and he gently said, "Please, I need to know the truth! I need to know if you still love me... and I need to know if you are having an affair... or if you have had one--Emotionally or Physically!?"
Sue could barely look upon her husband's face, she was too ashamed and filled with guilt. She knew she had sinned against God, her husband and her entire family.
FACING THE TRUTH
I have to wonder what the woman who was caught in adultery felt when she was brought to "face to face" with Jesus. Would He agree with the angry crowd or was He thinking about her sinful life?
What would the woman say to Jesus? How would she explain her poor behavior? I'm sure she just stood there and hung her head in shame!
JESUS' HAND OF MERCY
Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery. Of course this was all set up as a test for Jesus; His answers would give them grounds to accuse Him of crimes against Moses' law. Jesus bent over and began writing something in the sand.
The woman's accusers persisted, in badgering Jesus, so He stood straight up and spoke these words, "Let the first stone be thrown by the one among you who has not sinned. Once again he bent down to the ground and resumed writing with His finger.
The Pharisees who heard Him stood still for a few moments and then they began to leave slowly, one by one they turned and walked away, beginning with the older men. Eventually only Jesus and the woman remained, and Jesus looked lovingly into her eyes.
He asked this young woman, "We are alone, so where is everyone? Did no one step forward to condemn you?" She answered softly, "Lord, no one has condemned me." Jesus spoke once more, "Well, I do not condemn you either; all I ask is that you go and from now on avoid the sins that plague you." (paraphrased from JOHN 8:4-11)
Those were incredible powerful spoken by the Lord Jesus, when He said, "Neither do I condemn you: go and sin no more."
JOHN 8:11 The woman didn't feel she deserve such love and forgiveness... according to the Law of Moses she
should have been stoned to death.
Love gave this woman a second chance... and it's funny no one talks about the man she was with! Face it! We are all sinners and without forgiveness from our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, we have to ask ourselves, "Where would I be right now?"
News of infidelity can crush and destroy another person's life. The marriage vows are serious and hold deep meaning if we stop to truly think about them, before we say, "I Do!"
There is a deep sense of betrayal and broken trust when a spouse seeks gratification and enjoyment -- emotional or physical -- in another person. The questions left in the spouse that is hurt are endless.
MARRIAGE AFTER ADULTERY & GOD'S IMMEASURABLE
There are a few tips for surviving infidelity in a Christian marriage, including some practical steps you can take to heal your relationship with your spouse after an affair has occurred.
1. SEEK FORGIVENESS - First From the Lord and than From Your Spouse. Then you must live your forgiveness and give your spouse time and space.
2. GO FOR COUNSELING - It is very difficult for all involved in an affair to recover from its aftermath. Because of the versatile components, not to mention the emotions, I believe it is critical to have a Christian Counselor or a pastor guiding the healing process.
3. BE HONEST ABOUT YOUR HURTS - There is no part of a person--emotional, physical, spiritual or cognitive, that betrayal of an affair leaves untouched. The layers of hurt are deep and far-reaching, therefore, there is no hurt or thought that should be considered insignificant.
4. BE OPEN TO LISTENING AND ACKNOWLEDGING WRONG - True listening is very difficult to do. We are often drawn to defend or justify our actions and behaviors when listening to others recount how we caused hardship.
5. CREATE OPPORTUNITIES FOR TIME TOGETHER - Intentional time is necessary for all marriages to thrive. How much more for a couple healing from an affair? It can be small, simple and inexpensive--but time for each other must be taken.
6. ALLOW TIME TO GRIEVE - Grief is a journey and no two people travel the same pathway. Grief does not have a timeline to follow, and slowly it becomes a part of life we learn to walk with. It is okay to allow for setbacks.
7. ASK GOD TO HELP YOU FORGIVE AND BE WILLING TO MOVE FORWARD WITH GOD'S HELP - Holding bitterness will hurt you more that the actual affair has. The Bible instructs us to: Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamor, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: and be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you.
8. DWELL IN THE MARRIAGE COVENANT - A side from God's covenant with men, the only other covenant we have on earth is with our spouse. It is a covenant unlike any other contract because it can't be changed or voided. It is a relationship meant to thrive, not to endure, or "feel stuck in!" It is worth investing all your time, energy and even your finances into your marriage!
SUE AND KEVIN'S MARRIAGE ENDED ON A HIGH NOTE
When every thought told Sue that she was unworthy of love, something miraculous happened that changed the way she looked at marriage and the way she looked at her Savior. It was the realization that we all are saved by nothing but the "Power of Grace!"
Submit to your husband and love your wife as Christ Jesus loves the church... And be assured that Christ's hand of mercy and grace will be with you when you need it most!
Perhaps you, a family member or friend is going through something very similar to Kevin and Sue. We need to pray
for ALL marriages and that GOD WOULD BE THE ANSWER
to a most difficult situation, one I can hardly imagine.
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