2 SAMUEL 13:6
Howbeit he would not hearken unto her voice: but, being stronger than she, forced her, and lay with her.
2 SAMUEL 13:14
TAMAR WAS RAPED - SEXUALLY ASSAULTED
Yes! The Bible does discuss sexual abuse and in 2 SAMUEL 13, we read specifically about the rape of Tamar a
young virgin girl.
If you recall in 2 SAMUEL 11 we read about King David's sins. He not only committed adultery with Bathsheba, but he was also responsible for her husband Uriah's murder.
NATHAN THE PROPHET CONFRONTS DAVID
Our God is Holy and righteous and through Nathan, He told King David that "chastisement would come" because of what David did to Bathsheba and Uriah! God said He would, "Raise up evil against him out of his own house." (See 2 SAMUEL 12:11)
And now just a chapter later we find that the evil was beginning to rise; thus David was followed with one trouble after another, which made the latter part of his reign less glorious and pleasant than the former years.
GODLY DISCIPLINE AND PUNISHMENT
God chastened David with the rod of men, yet He also assured him that "His loving-kindness he would not utterly take away!"
Adultery and murder were David's sins, and those sins among his children (Amnon defiling and raping his sister Tamar, and Absalom murdering his brother Amnon) were just the beginnings of his punishment, and the more grievous because he had reason to fear that his bad example may help to bring them to this depravity and immorality!
Unfortunately, in today's world sexual abuse, including rape, incest, sexual assault (including men and boys), intimate marital sexual violence and drug-assisted sexual abuse, is often gone unpunished because of the "guilt and shame" the victim is feeling and their inability to talk to someone about the violence they endured.
SEXUAL VIOLENCE AND VIGILANTE JUSTICE
In this chapter we have the violence that raised up vigilantes as follows:
- Amnon ravishing and raping Tamar assisted in his plot to do it by Jonadab his kinsman and criminally executing it. (v. 1-20)
- Absalom murdered Amnon for it (v. 21-39), both were considerable anguish to David, and the more because he was unwittingly made an accessory to both, by sending Tamar to Amnon and then Amnon to Absalom.
- All that was done, the plan, the rape, and the murder were done violently and summarily, without recourse to lawful procedures.
- I can think of several cases of "honor killings or shame killings" which is the murder of family member, due to the perpetrators' belief that the victim has brought dishonor and shame upon the family, or has violated the principles of a community or a religion, usually for reasons such as divorcing or separating from their spouse, refusing to enter an arranged marriage, being in a relationship that is disapproved of by their family, having premarital or extramarital sex, and "even becoming a victim of rape or sexual assault" due to dressing in ways which are deemed inappropriate.
RAPE, SEXUAL ASSAULT & SEXUAL ABUSE
The terms "rape," "sexual assault," and "sexual abuse" can get confusing since states often use different words to mean the same thing or use the same words to describe different things.
PLEASE NOTE: The definitions below could be a bit graphic, which is inevitable when describing these types of crimes. I have toned them down as much as possible.
- Rape: is forced sexual intercourse of any orifice and penetration may be by a body part or an object.
RAPE IS A FORM OF VIOLENCE AND CONTROL!
- Sexual Assault: is unwanted sexual contact that stops short of rape or attempted rape. This term is often used interchangeably with rape.
SEXUAL ASSAULT IS A FORM OF VIOLENCE AND CONTROL!
- Sexual Abuse: is a form of mistreating children and is mainly used to describe behavior towards children, not adults. All 50 states have laws that recognize that children are not capable of giving informed consent in any sex act. In the United States, the age at which consent can be given ranges from 16 to 18 years of age. Sexual abuse of a child is a criminal act.
SEXUAL ABUSE IS A FORM OF VIOLENCE AND CONTROL!
WHAT TO DO IF YOU ARE A VICTIM
- Get to a safe place as soon as possible. Parents give your child a place where they can go to be safe!
- Contact 911
- Preserve physical evidence if you can: DO NOT wash, comb, or clean any part of your body. DO NOT eat, drink use the bathroom, or change your clothes.
- Get to the nearest hospital or emergency room as soon as possible. There you can be examined for injuries and treated against sexually transmitted infections or disease.
- Contact a "Rape Crisis Advocate" by telling the nurse or doctor that you would like to have someone with you who can support you.
- You can also have a trusted friend or family member who can be with you.
- You can also have someone call a "Rape Crisis Center," or the "National Sexual Assault Hotline," at, 1-800-656-HOPE (4673).
- REMEMBER and KNOW this was NOT your fault and help is available.
Check out yesterdays blog for ways to begin the healing process under:
(A PLAN TO CONQUER THE DEVIL'S LIES)
NOW FIND SOMEONE TO SUPPORT YOU
Be it rape, sexual assault or sexual abuse ALL VICTIMS, no matter how difficult they need to find someone they can confide in. I realize how hard this may be, but carrying the violence against you is a very heavy burden to bear!
For Children & Parents: Parents talk to your child and tell them they can tell a school teacher, the school nurse, or a guidance counselor as it may be easier than going directly to you the parent at first, but you do want them to tell someone. That said, I believe ALL PARENTS have the right to know and they need to be aware of what their child has gone through and why their behaviors may have changed dramatically!
Don't let "GUILT OR SHAME" keep you from getting help. You don't want to live the rest of your life with that kind of battle within you! Believe me, "it doesn't just go away," and "you just don't forget it!" There is HELP available, ask your doctor, nurse, or school teacher, nurse or guidance counselor!
From a more personal note: I have been a victim, but I
survived and I have been an advocate for all women and children. If you don't have anyone to talk to:
EMAIL ME VIA MY CONTACT PAGE ABOVE!! I WOULD BE MORE THAN HAPPY TO LISTEN AND ENCOURAGE YOU!
(DISCLAIMER: This by no means is a "perfect execution on sex crimes!" To find a way to start your process of healing, follow up with your pastor or a doctor, as I am not a licensed therapist. However, I have been where many of you are and the Lord Jesus has delivered me from my own guilt and shame!! And, I've had the great privilege of helping others be freed from the same things!)
(I have been an advocate on a "rape crisis hotline" and have gone to the hospital to be an advocate for anyone who had been raped or sexually assaulted or sexually abused. I have also volunteered at a "crisis pregnancy center" where we taught parenting classes and helped young teenagers to older women of childbearing
age deal with issues of post-abortions.)