- There is no crying... there are no tears... no, just pure pain! All of me, from the largest muscles, bones and joints, to the small fibers of flesh and body tissue... there is just incommunicable, and indescribable, physical agony and suffering... gasping at times for every breath I take!
This "warrior" thought she had learned how to smile through the pain, cry behind closed doors and fight battles unknown to those she loves and calls family and friends! Solitude and seclusion had become my home, my dwelling place... a simple hole in the wall!
I am a pillaged, ragged soul surrounded by a fully and totally diseased frame that lingers through incessant, unrelenting torment and pain!! But, as they say, "No more... I give in... I bail out... I acquiesce... I opt out... I step down... I GIVE UP"!
And then... I hear my Lord speaking every so kindly, but very authoritatively:
WAIT... WAIT I SAY!! I AM THAT I AM IS WITH YOU!!
I hear God's mighty voice speaking to me from the heavens...
"Look! I AM is dwelling with YOU, and I AM within you! You are my child and I AM... I myself... I AM Your GOD!! I AM He who will wipe away ALL the tears that fall from your eyes and death will no longer be your concern... your grief, crying, suffering and pain will no longer be... because I AM will see that they all pass away!"
He went on to say, "Look, my child... I AM making everything new... just for you!" He also added, "My words are faithful, loyal, and they are truth!! It will be done... It is done since I AM that I AM!! I AM your Alpha and the Omega!
I AM at the beginning and the ending of ALL you are facing... MOST importantly, I AM in the midst... at the core of ALL that you are going through!!
I AM will give you water as my gift to you! You, who I know is thirsting and hungering. I AM will give you my waters from the "Springs of Life"... and food since I AM... "the Bread of Life"!!
"You are the victor... the conqueror... MY Warrior!! To you I will give all these things, for I AM... I AM your God and YOU are my child!!"
I had given up... until I SURRENDERED ALL to my GOD!!! I have given Him entirely everything... nothing has been withheld... Once again...I am at peace!
Christianity is not for the "Faint of Heart" (a kinder way to say COWARDS)!! Paul didn't say, "I have given up, I have finished living, I can't rid myself of fear and doubts"!!!!
NO!! Paul said, "I have FOUGHT a good FIGHT, I have FINISHED My COURSE, I have kept the FAITH!! 2 Timothy 4:7
So I say, "Lord, please grant me the ability to say as Paul said, words that are not only pleasing to YOU... but, are truly worthy... even after I ask you to remove my disease... you assure me of your Mercy and Grace, which is sufficient for me"!!
Paul also asked: "For this thing I besought the Lord thrice, that it might depart from me". And, Jesus said unto me, "My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me". 2 Corinthians 12:8-9
I am no one special... I just love Jesus and try to live for Him. It isn't an easy road, but Jesus holds my hand and walks with me through it all!!
Yes! I am His warrior and I thank my Lord that He understands... when His warrior is weary or falls down! At those times... He lovingly picks me up and brings rest to my soul!!
I hope and pray you know Jesus, if not I'd be happy to share how you can know Him personally and live your life for Him! Email me at: firstname.lastname@example.org