Precious in the sight of the Lord is death of his saints.
Yesterday I spoke about our house fire in July of 1995 and the sentimental things we had lost. Only one magnet on our refrigerator remained and potentially prepared me for the very difficult moments in my life... it stated:
"In Everything Give Thanks"!
Then on September 13, 2018 I learned that I had lost one of the most precious persons in my life, my younger brother, Joe had passed away! Suddenly I couldn't breath, I couldn't talk and the teardrops continuously streamed down my grief-stricken face.
I absolutely know Joe is safe in his heavenly home!
Only his fatality has left me with the most peculiar struggle, and an enormous conflict has taken up residence within my heart and soul! Before I realized it, I found myself anchored in discouragement and despondency!
It's been almost four months and the feelings remain, I am without question still perplexed and distraught.
It's not as if I've never seen or dealt with death. I have faced the demise of my father, mother, other family members and even some friends. I've witnessed the end of life in my hospital work and my volunteering years with two different ambulance corps.
Yet death in those situations was simply a part of life, and now I can't seem to accept the fact that my brothers end came all too quickly!! My heart is heavily burdened with the loss of my younger sibling... if I'm to be totally truthful!
In fact, my mind knows the truth, but my heart just refuses to believe the facts.
Grief has stolen an abundant part of me leaving my hopes and dreams defeated. I'm in the midst of loneliness and abandonment, I cry out pleading "Where are you Lord"??
I know the scriptures... below are just a few:
The Lord is nigh to them that are of a broken heart; and saves such as be of a contrite (remorseful) spirit. Psalm 34:18
Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning. Psalm 30:5
For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.
All I truly know to do is to pray, telling the Lord, my heartaches and the depths of my hurt. Then the verse that came to me so vividly in 1995 comes back to me as it has so many times before:
In Everything Give Thanks!
Despite my feelings, how do I even begin to give thanks in the loss of my loved and cherished brother?? Mourning leaves me somber, with thoughts of how things might have been.
I also try to listen and wait on the Lord for answers, for I know wonderful things happen when we pray! Sometimes they happen immediately, yet other times they happen as we tarry and linger until they come much later... when we least expect them!
So I keep anticipating God's answers, hoping and believing they are on their way, because the suffering is to much to bear at times!
Yes, I still agonize when the discouragement becomes extremely heavy and I'm afraid I'll never be the same. Tears still keep falling at just the mention of his name or when a memory comes to mind.
This is the most miserable and wretched time to be "giving thanks" and yet I know from previous experience that "a heart willing to wait," may expect awesome answers from our heavenly father!!
In the meantime I will meditate on God's Holy Words;
This is the day which the Lord hath made; I will rejoice and be glad in it!
Speaking to yourselves in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord; Giving Thanks Always... for all things unto God and the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ...
And the Scripture I will always remember:
In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.
1 Thessalonians 5:18
With Much Love and In Loving Memory of:
Joseph Perry Myers
Born: January 22, 1960
Passing to Heaven: September 13, 2018